How many friends do you have through social media?  How many are there that you consider a meaningful relationship – enough of one that you’d invite them to a party?  Research shows this number is around 150, and of that, about five are your closest friends.  While the global average number for friends on Facebook is 338, I have around 1,100.  Many of these “Friended” friends have come to me through the different groups I participate in – from my past corporate life, to Burning Man, to my online business school groups, to women’s empowerment groups.

Years ago, I remember a story about a woman who made it a point to go and meet every single one of her social media friends in person.  I always thought that was a cool idea, some future Bucket List adventure. I never expected that an online friend would show up attending the same women’s empowerment seminar I did.  That’s part of the fun of being open to wonder, being open to unexpected outcomes – oftentimes what happens is “wonder-full”!  In this case, the outcome was a friendship that went from virtual to IRL!

Women in the Middle podcast

I first virtually met Suzy Rosenstein when I approached her about her podcast, Women in the Middle.  We belong to several of the same digital business groups.  She lives in Canada (and, as you know, I’m currently New York based).  If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may remember Suzy interviewing me (Episode 41)  As a podcast, you’d hear the interview.  But when Suzy records the interview, she does it over a video chat service called Zoom.  What impressed me then was how easy her smile comes out, and her infectious laughter.  I think we connected on having a similar sense of fun.

Mama Gena’s Experience Weekend

If you haven’t heard of Mama Gena, she is a women’s empowerment guru.  Her business is coaching women to learn to trust themselves, and her main message is that to do this, women need to pay attention to what their pussy tells them.  (You can get into the whole discussion about using the word “pussy” and her methods by reading her books – “Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts” and her newest one “Pussy, A Reclamation.”)  Mama Gena’s business model works well for her.  She has books, videos and an online course.  She has these introductory weekend “pitches” which attracts women from all over the globe.  At those weekends, she touches on her “tools” for self-empowerment.  If attendees choose, they can then sign up for the 3-month course “Mastery” and then from there sign up for a more intense course called “Creation”.  I’ve attended several of these “Experience” weekends because I enjoy not only the amazing way Mama Gena gets 3000 women to open up and trust each other with dark secrets, but also the “Sister Goddess” community that is created.  My “Sister Goddess” label is just as much of a part of me as my “Burner” is a part of me.  I always leave these events feeling shifted for the better.

This year I made a last-minute decision to go to the December “Experience” weekend by myself (I had hoped a Sister Goddess friend from down South could come up, but not this time).  One of the perks of signing up for this event is the Facebook group that starts being formed in early November.  I joined in late, so missed many of the people introducing themselves.  With this timing, I could join the last Facebook Live Mama Gena held.  And, like many others, I made comments to answer questions Mama Gena posed.  One comment was made by a woman, Perri, who stated it was her 55^th birthday that weekend.  Since I just turned the double nickels myself, I reached out to Perri to connect about this synergy.

Just a coincidence?

Facebook-stalking Perri, I noticed we have a friend in common.  I used that as a topic when I sent her an introductory message.  As soon as I did – our common friend posted in the group.  I had to laugh – I couldn’t believe the coincidence that Suzy, whom I had met only virtually – was coming to New York for this intense weekend!  It may be coincidence, or maybe it’s a small world.  I like to think it was my adventure magic answering my desire for deeper connection.

Suzy and Perri arrived the day before the event, when we met up in the City and I became their adventure guide.  Since Mama Gena is all about pleasure, we made that our theme.  We indulged in shopping, chocolate and sex (a sex store, not with each other – just in case you’re curious.)

From virtual to IRL friends

We learned a lot about each other by being in each other’s company over the weekend.  We had an easy time getting along because we knew some of each other’s lives from our virtual friendship.  What you see on social media isn’t nearly all that goes on with a person (I know that’s true for me!)  A women’s empowerment seminar also brings out depths not normally brought to the surface over a glass of wine.  We went from virtual acquaintances to IRL friends.

I still want to travel across the country (maybe I should change that to continent to include Canada) and meet all my virtual friends.  As well as to re connect with real friends, like Suzy.

Has this ever happened to you?  Tell me in the comments how you shifted from a virtual friendship, or if you are considering changing an online relationship to an “in real life” one?