I’m writing this in December, 2020. You know – at the tail end of the year “normal” broke. Even if we’ve been lucky enough not to have been directly affected by the virus, it’s still been a painful, uncertain and … weird experience for most of us. The feelings about this year reminds me of another painful, uncertain weird time in my life. That was a year where all the regular structures of my life ground to a halt, leaving me no choice but to face my demons. It was also the year I ultimately embarked on the adventure of my life-time by learning reiki. I went from rock bottom to becoming a Reiki teacher.
It was 2009. I had just returned from six months abroad in the Netherlands. I was just one class away from graduating college. After a whirlwind of fun and adventures, my life just sort of… stopped. I discovered I no longer had anything to do except:
- Obsess more
- Shake my first at a God I didn’t even believe in
- Did I mention obsess?
Until that moment, my whole life been filled with school, activities, jobs, sports, friends, adventures and travels… and then? A screeching great big void. And 22-year-old me? Despite a bachelor’s degree in psychology from a top University, younger me was NOT equipped to cope with life in an emotionally healthy manner. At that time, I didn’t have the first idea what to do with all those feelings (except, you know… obsess and spiral.) Adding to the spiral I then clung to the first man who gave me attention like he was a life-raft. Which, as you could guess, ended horribly.
Fun, uplifting story until now, huh? In a weird way, it is.
In hindsight, there is a strange joy in looking back at your rock-bottom moments. They’re the moments that give you ground to stand on to say a deep & clear “NO” to whatever is creating your suffering. Take my advice – from that ground you can rebuild on a real foundation and live your most epic adventure ever.
In my case? I realized a bachelor’s degree in psychology didn’t equip me with coping tools to handle my own emotions. I knew in my heart it was time for me to do something about my unhealthy patterns. There was no way I was going to start my adult life this vulnerable, obsessive, and “useless.” Do you have a “favorite” word to belittle yourself with? I internally called myself “useless” so often, I must have loved torturing myself with this word.
Climbing up from rock bottom
Getting up from my rock bottom I decided to expand my horizons. I questioned everything I had known so far. My curiosity led me to discover meditation. Meditation helped me understand that I am not my thoughts and that I get to choose where I place my attention. For someone stuck in endless thoughts of boys or not knowing what to do with her life, this shift in perspective shifted my life immensely!
Reiki was a game-changer.
After meditation, I discovered Reiki. It’s a very simple energy-healing technique that involves becoming a channel for universal spiritual healing energy. First you give yourself that energy. Next, you learn to be a channel for it to flow through to heal others.
Reiki was a game-changer. As simple as the technique is, I struggled learning it. I learned it’s more than just a technique, but allows for a deeper understanding of oneself.
It defied every belief I had built up until then –
- that love is earned by being “perfect”
- that if science can’t prove it, it can’t exist
- that worthwhile things are always complicated
- that my feelings shouldn’t count
- that I didn’t have intuition & that I certainly wasn’t creative.
Do you have these kinds of beliefs? You know, the kind which come from a life-time of denying who you are in order to fit in?
Well, Reiki gently, but firmly, forced me to undo every single one of those beliefs…
It was a mind-blowing journey. One by one those beliefs were challenged, and my reality with it.
I was forced to realize that I was both grossly imperfect AND miraculously loved. At the same time… and it allowed me to create an imperfect business and life that truly mostly fill me up with joy!
The journey to Reiki teacher
My intuition gave me so many gifts of things “I wasn’t supposed to know” that I was obligated to recognize that there is so much more to life than what we can currently see or prove or understand. Living in the mystery is now one of my favorite ways to approach life!
I learned that it’s the very simplicity of Reiki that makes it such an endless teacher for me, and I couldn’t be more grateful at how deep it reaches.
And about my feelings not counting? That one kind of makes me giggle, because it’s feelings that brought me on this journey in the first place and I can’t imagine my life without the wisdom and magic that have sprung forth from them.
It’s been about 10 years now and Reiki is still teaching me about life and love. More than that? About how to live a life that I am EPIC-ally in love with.
2020 can be a healing year
When I think back to the challenges of 2020, I feel cautiously hopeful. Hopeful because it feels similar to a year in the past that completely changed my life with healing and emotional growth. My journey has had its twists and turns, its highs and lows and I’m grateful to be on this amazing adventure called life. In the end, no matter how many tools and frameworks I have learned, my greatest teacher has been life. Taking it one step at a time, following my curiosity have been the greatest blessing.
If you recognized yourself in this story, my hope for you is that you find your way through all the transformation available to the magic on the other side. Take the opportunity to follow your intuition for learning about your feelings from 2020 and how you, too, can challenge and change your life.
About the author
Inge Broer: I’m crazy passionate about spiritual and emotional health. When we’re spiritually healthy, we’re growing, we’re contributing beyond ourselves. When we’re emotionally healthy, we recognize our emotions are exactly what point us to what we need to do, who we need to be to be our best selves. And to me, there’s nothing more exciting than to help someone have more emotional and spiritual health in their life. The beauty and resources that are revealed are astonishing. Learn more at IngeBroer.com